Formatting Nightmares Vellum Didn’t Save Me From
Vellum is beautiful. I am the problem.
Let me start by saying I love Vellum. I do. It's gorgeous, user-friendly, and makes my books look like they were typeset by someone who drinks tea from an actual cup and not a travel mug covered in sticky notes.
But there’s one thing Vellum can’t do.
It can’t save you from yourself.
So today, in the spirit of transparency and mild public shaming, I’m sharing some of my worst formatting nightmares. All lovingly handcrafted by yours truly, using Vellum, a keyboard, and a healthy dose of unchecked confidence.
1. I Imported the Wrong File. Twice.
Simple enough mistake, right? I had a clean manuscript. I also had an earlier draft with placeholder text like [INSERT COOL THING HERE]. Guess which one I uploaded. Guess which one I published.
Yes. That one.
There’s nothing quite like a reader sending you a screenshot of a missing scene with the caption, “Was this intentional?”
No, Brenda. No, it was not.
2. I Forgot to Turn Off Smart Quotes.
Look, curly quotes are cute. But when you import from a Word doc with smart quotes, you sometimes get a magical formatting meltdown. Apostrophes become hieroglyphics. Quotation marks face the wrong direction like they’ve given up entirely.
Vellum did its best. I did not.
3. I Styled Everything Like a Maniac
Chapter headers. Scene breaks. Block quotes. At some point I decided everything needed flair.
It did not.
By the time I was done, it looked like my book was having an identity crisis. Vellum’s clean templates were no match for my compulsion to tweak every setting like I was designing a Broadway playbill.
Spoiler: readers do not care if your chapter title has a subtle drop shadow. They just want to know who survives chapter twelve.
4. I Published Without Previewing All Devices
Oh yes. I previewed the Kindle version. I thought I was a formatting genius. What I did not do was check the iBooks or Nook versions.
Turns out, that cute little drop cap I loved on Kindle looked like an ancient curse symbol on every other platform.
I spent the next week answering emails from readers who were deeply concerned for my font choices and possibly my well-being.
5. I Didn’t Save the Final Vellum File Anywhere Smart
Guess who deleted her own final project folder during a “clean desktop, clean mind” episode? Guess who had to redownload her book from Amazon and reverse-engineer her own formatting decisions?
If you ever hear distant shouting that sounds like someone arguing with a zip file, it’s me.
What I’ve Learned
Vellum is an amazing tool, but it is not magical. You still need to:
Check your files twice
Preview on every device and platform
Stop touching things once it looks good
Save everything like your career depends on it
And maybe have a trusted friend who will say, “This chapter title is 34-point Gothic and I’m worried about you.”
If you’ve had your own formatting nightmare, you are not alone. And if your book still made it out into the world with a typo or two? Welcome to indie publishing. We are all just trying to make it through one section break at a time
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